Merry Christmas!

Hello Friends! Sorry it's been so long. Getting to town to use the internet is just a hassle. Life has been good. Outreach was different than anything I have ever done. I had a nice time, but I am pleased to have a shower again and more than a hole in the ground. Actually holes in the ground felt like luxery in the bush, often we would just go behind a tree. No Bom! I'm currently feeling really sleepy, probably due to being intown for a while in the sun and then eating chinese food. I need an afternoon nap.

I was treated to a scuba trip last week, which was amazing. we only went down 12 meters, but I had never been so that was awesome. however I think I may have messed up an ear. It's causing me a headache off and on. it just feels weird.

Christmas was amazing! I will write something long about that, but right now my buddies want to go back to base and I don't want to take a cap alone. so I better get going. I head home pretty soon. I think it will be nice. but, I do enjoy the beach. western everything else is something to look forward to though.

love love,
Bethany

Hello friends!

Life has been so busy! I graduate tomorrow! I had maleria this last week which was horrible! But I am better now. I leave for outreach Saturday and won't be back until the 17th. Therefore I won't be back on the internet until atleast the 18th. I love you all! and I'll tell you stories later.

In His Joy,
Bethany

11/22/07 Thanksgiving.

I'm am doing a horrible job of updating, and I am sorry to all of you. I rarely make it to town, and when I do, the internet is the last thing on my mind. I try to write out my letters at home and then bring them here, but it never happens this way. However the Lord has really been speaking to me about journaling. I see amazing things every day here, and they're are not to be forgotten!

Last weekend I went on an amazing medical outreach in the bush! We went to a place that still has elephants (however, we did not find any.) It was a 6 hour drive away. We set the clinic up early on Saturday morning. Our main focus ended up being scabbies treatments. (everyone here gets scabbies- sorry if I am spelling it wrong, I have no idea how it is spelled.) To our surprise, the Lord decided that we would be healing blind eyes as well. 4 blind people visited us through the day, and we prayed for them and they were healed. No joke! I was amazed! I still am! Later that night, we met another blind person that asked for prayer and he too was healed!

Jesus is amazing!

Early Sunday morning, I got a team together at about 4:30am to go searching for Elephant. We went on a 2 hour hike in the African Jungle, it was so beautiful! We found their tracks, but they were no where to be found. (Possibly a blessing because they are not friendly creatures.) We did however see many baboons. but I was unable to get pictures at the time. I did get a picture of a tucan however :-)
And I got some amazing pictures of the children. I'll upload them when I am back in the states. It's too slow here though.

I don't know what I did to the computer, but the puctuation is all off. so I am sorry if it turns out funky.

Today was my day to work in the baby house. I had two 1 year olds crawling all over me. it was a blast though. I love the children here! They are so beautiful, and want hugs all the time. they all need to be loved.

The Pastors are done with their schooling, so my Portuguese is not progressing much. It's not the same without them around. Eating lunch isn't the same. We can wear caprees whenever now though. (Before, we had to wear capulanas or skirts when the pastors joined us for class.) In the bush we always have to wear capulanas.)

I often think of fun things to share with people, but when it comes time to write, I forget. I wish it was safer to bring a bag with my journal in it to town. Wearing a bag is just a way of drawing attention to something people can steal from you. I hardly take pictures for this reason. Atleast not in town.

A girl here got her camera taken right out of her hands a few weeks ago. I guess all the village kids helped find the person, and the police ended up getting it back to her. (this never happend.)

Oh, something random! On the way back into town from outreach The police made all of us get out of the car to wash our hands in bleach water, because we were leaving an area where there was a breakout of something. (I found this kind of funny. because someone probably told them the best way to prevent spreading such a thing is to wash your hands. so they have people do it at the border! haha.) It was a bit scary because none of us were quite sure why we were getting out, and then the driver said don't ask questions, just wash your hands. The police want to get money any way they can. any ticket they give usually goes to them personally. and if you don't pay they can put you in jail. (most tickets have to be paid upfront or you will go to jail) It's terrible.

We had our thanksgiving yesterday. It was interesting, because there are so many people here from all over the world. 3 of us dressed up like indians (Myself being one of them) and we kept having to explain Thanksgiving to people. haha. it was nice to get together to have a big meal though.

It was different than home, but still fun never the less. I do wish I was at home cooking with the fam though. and eating amazing pumpkin pie. :-) I would also really like some mexican food. I think I miss that the most. everyone should take me to dinner at different times when I get back. because I crave many things. haha. (However, eating out might actually be difficult for me. I dunno. maybe not. I eat out here sometimes, and the most beautiful places ever. beach side dinners are wonderful! (The food is different though) I like just about anything these days. I had some icecream not too long ago, and I doubt it's very good, but it tastes amazing because I never have it. haha. It's actually a blessing I think.

I have to go to the fruit market before heading home, so I better get going. Love you all and I'll see you sometime in January! :-)

-Bethany

Praise the Lamb!

Hey everyone!
I didn't prepare a post before coming here so this is going to be bref. but I just wanted to update a little. Life here is pretty neat. I am however starting to really miss comfort. I would love so much to be able to hop in my car for some icecream. Going to the movies sounds like a blast right now too.

This weekend was amazing however!
We went on outreach, and the second day there we went into this little village to share some things and sing some songs with the kids. This boy brings up his little sister to myself and Jeann. The little girl had a horrible eye infection, so we prayed for it and watched the white in her eyes go from yellow to white. we then cleaned her eyes, and realized that this child was deaf and possibly mute, so I held her for an hour just praying for her, it was then time to leave and I was so sad, I didn't want to leave here there, but we left. we then came back that night and I find the girl again, and lay hands on her ears and start praying for her. her mother shows up and through body language tells us she is her mother. and then she is trying to tell me to stop praying for the childs ears. (I wonder then if the child was even deaf) the mother says "Salama in the little girl's ear and the girl responds with a bit of niose from her mouth. at this point I am so confused! I find a translater, and the mother tells him that before we came that morning, the child was deaf and mute, but she is now healed by Jesus. and the mom starts dancing. we were all joyous! God is so good!

I know this is hard for many of you, but it happened, I watched it with my very eyes.

I also killed a pig that weekend. haha. I'll tell this story later. my internet time is up. blast! Love you all! (sorry, I don't even have time to edit!)

-Bethany

A few more things...

Hey everyone that has commented, thank you so much for your encouragement. I would respond personally, but the internet is just too slow. About my needs, I think I have everything taken care of. There would really be no way to mail me anything anyway, because regular mail probably won't reach me (unless it's a letter, and in this case, maybe maybe not) Sending it fedex or something else would cost upwards of $100 (seriously.) Financially you can always help by paypal via www.xanga.com/bohemian_bliss or www.myspace.com/bethawhatevr (or there is more info for other ways via myspace) But really my needs are met right now. (I did charge some things for this trip before coming, so having my credit card paid off when I return would be a blessing, especially because I think God may send me out again pretty quickly. but we'll see. I am fine for now. but also may need more by next month. We'll see.

I didn't mention that lunch and dinner are good! I only mentioned that tea in the morning is gross. haha. (thought I better share that!) Also, I thought up a few gross odd things about Africa:

1. Be careful when walking on the side of the road, people poop anywhere.
2. You know you are in Africa when you use the toliet and throw your TP in the toilet to remember that it can't flush! you then pick it out with your hands and go to wash just to find the water is off! ewww!
3. Washing clothes it almost a lost cause. They always look kind of dirty. (I only wash to get the smell out, and perhaps any scabies the kids may have rubbed off on me.)
4. My hair loves Africa! maybe being dirty is just good for the frizz? I don't know. haha.

I'll post more as I think of them.

Love you all! thank you for your love and support!

10/28/07 Life in Africa #2

So, here I sit in Pemba Mozambique. It’s about 11pm Sunday night, (which is very late for Mozambiquens considering that the sun raises at 4:30am and sets at about 5pm)
I honestly don’t even know where to begin an update for you all. So much has happened. Life here is so different, but for some reason I find myself feeling very at home. I never need an alarm, because the 200 children that live here, plus the 100+ village kids that hang around are all up playing by about 5:30am. The breakfast bell rings between 5:45 and 7am (This is Africa and time means nothing… haha!) Breakfast is a roll and nasty hot tea that is so sugary! I usually make myself coffee or have coffee in “Man Town” with my buddies there. Sometimes I eat the roll, but usually I just make oatmeal, or skip breakfast.
I head over to the big tent around 8am for school, which is different most every day! We usually play some music together and then Leslie lectures. That woman is crazy awesome! She’s been all over the world, doing whatever God has her do.

Two days a week, the Mozambiquen pastors from the bible school join us. We had a feet washing ceremony Friday to build community with each other. It was really neat. I usually spend lunchtime with either the pastors, or the children; which has been the best way for me to learn Portuguese. 2 weeks in, and I can communicate pretty all right. I’m sure I sound 2 years old, but they seem to get it mostly. I think I get more frustrated with myself than they do.
It’s interesting though… I don’t only have to learn a verbal language, but I have an all new body language to learn as well. It’s so hard to read people here, because even their facial expressions are somewhat different. I am sure I look like a freak to them most of the time. The guards laugh at me a lot. I’ll say “bon dia!” and they return with “bon dia” and then I say either “to the bon?” or “como esta?” then then they say “to the bon.” and then I don’t know what to say after that, so I say “bon!” and then “chao!” and then they all laugh. Maybe I am pronouncing it funny? (Certainly spelling it all wrong, sorry!)

The kids here are very aggressive. There are 4 horses that run around all over in the day, and the kids chuck rocks at them, which make the horses very scared and angry, but this evening I spent about an hour with them (the horses) just petting them. Which is really quite amazing because they don’t come up to people, but 2 of them were all the way up to the fence with their heads peeking through for me to hug and pet. I’ve pet all 4 actually, and they are beautiful! I feel very honored that they allowed me to touch them this evening. 
One of the hardest things for me has been dealing with people asking me for money like I am an ATM. My new friend Adiza doesn’t speak any English, and very little Portuguese. Today after church I had a kid translate for us and she said she wanted to ask me if I would give her some money. Haha! It’s such a frustrating thing really. There is a need, but at the same time, people have lived in Africa for a long time. And they are getting by. I refuse to feel guilty for being from America. (Though it can be hard.) People here also try to scam all the time in hopes that you will give them money. We luckily aren’t supposed to give any money. Which makes it easier because there is a rule about it. Really, it’s good because giving people money is only feeding the lie that money will fix everything. We feed everyone on Sunday. And we feed the village children every day. (we don’t feed adults outside of Sunday church, because in the past, riots broke out, and the children were threatened with knives. We still have a guard stand by when we feed though, because you just don’t know what will happen in a community that is starving.)

I fed the children twice this week, and the first time we ran out of food. We kept praying, and it just so happened that the kitchen had enough to give us more (which is so unlikely) and then the second day, we had less food and twice as many children, and every child ate! All the way to the last plate. God MUST have multiplied the food or something! I mean, we are talking 50-70 more people with less food. Crazy! He is so good!

Church here is so hardcore! These people sing and dance for hours! I feel like I have run 10 miles by the time they are done with Praise and Worship. They are so full of joy too! The church works a lot like the first church did too. Everyone serves! People take turns leading the songs. And there are usually 2 or 3 dances the kids have put together, and then the pastor teaches. It is translated into Makua and English. It’s crazy! Sometimes Heidi teaches, and other times it’s one of the student Pastors. They sometimes have skits too. Their teachings are also kind of like skits, it’s wonderful!

Today God told me to pray for a blind guy, I didn’t really want to, but I went up to him and laid hands on his head and he had tears dripping to the ground, it felt powerful. I then prayed for another blind man, and then many others. I went to the corner where the older woman tend to sit together, and I started praying for them, many of them are lame, one of them just held on to my hand the whole time. Several of them hugged me many times.

Part of the time I was ministering to people I was holding this baby boy. Children curl up in our laps during church and often fall asleep. It was so cute. ‘

Starting next week, I will be working in the preschool one day a week. (This means I will miss half a day of class every week, but it’s counted as an elective.) Preschool is age birth – 3 years old. Should be neat. I haven’t even been to the baby house yet. I may also be working in the clinic as an assistant with Eric. He is one of the doctors here. Erica G has been going to the villages to do scabies treatments on the children; I may join her as well. I think I may have scabies on my arm, or, they might just be funky bug bites. We’ll be able to tell in a couple days. Put some triple antibiotic ointment on it and call it good. Haha. It’s actually neat, I have not worried about getting things like this because worrying would hinder me from being able to love these people, and they so badly need love.

I’ve been asked about marriage 3 times I believe. And many people (mostly young boys) say they want to “spend time” with me. (Which spending time with anyone of opposite gender means you are dating. And holding hands means you are probably sexually engaged.) Some things lead people to believe you are dating. So one has to be careful, and it’s difficult!

Last night I went to the Dolphin with my outreach group, so that we could do some team building. I ate lobster, and this restaurant is on the beach. Pemba has one of the nicest beaches one has ever seen! I also had ice cream, and the whole thing seemed too good for mission work, however, taking a break is good things sometimes I do believe.
Lobster is $4 here! So cheep! Food is priced differently here, and of course the currency is different. It’s 25 Metici to the doller. It’ll be funny when I try to pull out 500 dollars at the ATM in America. (meaning to get about $20)

I love wearing Capalianas here! I seem to live in them. At home we tie them around like a dress (but this is considered rude when out of our homes. In fact we are only to wear them as skirts when worn as clothing, because it offends the people.)

Last week the pastors were trying to teach me different body parts in Portuguese. They would point and say the word, and then I would point and repeat the word. Well, they got to “breasts” and the pastor cupped his hands over himself and said mamos! My whole face turned SO RED! We have a saying “A boob is a nose here” it’s so different, because knees are offensive! Actually their own knees aren’t as offensive, but thanks to Hollywood white woman’s knees are very sexual. (An African woman would not show hers in church though. Yet they do show their breasts in church!)

Next weekend I will be in the Bush for 3 days. It should be pretty neat. I hope I learn a bit more Makua before leaving.

I love walking on the beach and finding shells! It’s so wonderful; I just wish it were safe for me to do it myself. Kathryn from my house does all the time, but she is from Uganda, and blends in a bit better.

I am making many friends. And all of my housemates are amazing. It’s neat to meet people from all over the world. There are so many English! Ruth that lives in my house is from England, and says so many things we get confused with. The word “trash” is never said, they say rubbish. Etc…It’s neat. We introduced her to PPJs, and Gramcrackers. She’s never heard of smores. And she asked if our proms are the same as in the movies. Haha!

Anyway, I am so very sleepy, so I am going to go to bed.

Blessings and love!

-Bethany

In Africa

Hello friends!
I only have a few minutes at this internet cafe,
but I wanted to tell you all that Africa is amazing! It's kind of just like I pictured it, only... more real? haha. The childen follow me everywhere, always hugging me and wanting to hold my hands. they sit in my lap everytime I sit. I was learning clap songs by one of the girls yesterday.

My Portuguese is getting better. The bible student pastors have been teaching me. Some of them are teaching me Makua as well (which is needed when in the bush, because bush people don't speak Portuguese. ) Things here are different. Our feet get so dirty that I sleep in a sandy bed (Because the water is often off when it's time for bed) We went to the bush lastnight. We danced with a whole village Mozambiquen style which was awesome! Didn't do much medical outreach lastnight. (we do those usually on the weekends) We feed the village children every afternoon and people come from all over for church every sunday! (hundrends of people!)

The people in my casa are neat. I enjoy all of them. every morning I walk outside and have a beautiful view of the ocean. (a lot different from Kansas)

Rules of the road are... there are no rules. People drive as fast as the want, and people never have the right away. Plus, the biggest truck always wins! Well, my time is up. I'll see if I can update sometime next week. Things are going well! and I already feel at home! Prayers for the language would be good though.

Love you all!

-Bethany

And I'm off!

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm leaving at 6am tomorrow morning. God has been so wonderful in provision and is still always providing! I leave is just about 10 hours.
Thank you all for your support, and encouragement, and love!

I feel so blessed!

I'll try and keep this thing updated while I am gone.

Many blessings and love,
Bethany Flesher :-)

Mostly everything has been provided.

Here is what is left on my list of needs.
I have enough money for now. but I will need more while I am there. I still need to pay $400 for the outreach.(but I believe that can wait) and I should have enough for my water at least for this month. Things are coming together.
I started my Malaria pills yesterday and am not having any problems with them. Praise God! Please pray that I have no problems getting the last of my shots on Tuesday. (It's been 2 weeks of problems in this area)
I leave Thursday morning at 6am. if you feel like seeing me off. I'll be checking in and stuff at 4:30am.

God is good and have been providing in crazy ways!
I love you all!

Here is what is left of my needs list:
3. Two new T-Shirts any size and any solid color for the orphans.
9. 2 pairs of socks to wear with hiking boots. (ones that absorb moisture.)

Books still needed:
4. "Rees Howells Intercessor" Norman Grubb
etc...
2. a watch. (not flashy)
3. a money belt that fits under clothes out of sight.
6.Surge protector. (But I think I can get one there)

I leave Thursday at 6am.

It's so weird that I am actually going. I've been thinking about this daily since February. and probably hourly (-when sleeping?) since April.

It seemed so far away, but now it's practically here.

I have mixed emotions about everything. I am so ready to be there yet, I have no idea what the Lord has in store for me. Right now things feel a little stressed trying to get ready. but I think I am almost done with all of that, and I can just rest. I'm feeling a bit sick today, I hope it goes away quickly so I don't have to deal with sickness while preparing.

3 months is a long time, but at the same time it's not. I think it feels like it may be longer because it could be just the begging of a different life. who knows though? I could hate it.
or maybe it will just open the doors to something else that I haven't even thought about?

Basically I'm just saying a bunch of things... none of it is of importance.
Time for Church on the Street.

Love you all!

-Bethany

Heart thoughts and fears.?

So basically, I just realized that I keep giving everyone the info to all of my blogs. I really don't know why, except that I want them to be able to find more about my Africa plans. But then part of me feels like man, I don't know where to put my thoughts now.

I've been thinking a lot about Africa lately. ha, actually I have thought about it probably hourly since May, and at least many times a day since February. I bought my plane ticket today. basically, I borrowed half the money. But I feel like the money will just come in. I hope that was alright. I am not really a "borrowing" kind of person. oh well.

Anyway, all this buying plane tickets and sending in for visas is making everything real. This thing I have thought about for who knows how many months is finally actually coming to pass, and all of a sudden I don't actually know what I am on this path for. I mean, I am excited and I know God has amazing things in store for me, but I don't know exactly what that is. I feel like it's the beginning of more amazing things in life. but then again I have no idea what that looks like. I have fears. but not the kind most people have. honestly I no longer fear so much things like dying in a plane crash, or being beat up by bandits, or having witch doctors throw stones at me, or even other things like being chased by lions. though all of these things could be scary in the moment, I feel like the Lord has my back on the dangers of this world. I fear more the emotional things. How I will be with certain things. seeing people die (esp. children) is not something I handle very well. I still sometimes cry when I think about Travis. But there, death is almost a part of life. every person in Africa has had loved ones die. and sometimes their whole family. I fear seeing so much sickness. so much poverty, and so many people going with out food. or clean water. Who will I be when I return? Will I have the same heart to love people tenderly, or will it have grown cold? Also, will I be able to give like I hope to while I am there, or will my heart hurt too much to put everything into it? How did the Jesus do it? I bet his heart was broken constantly. yet he was able to give his all. I don't understand, I hope I will.

How does God look down at everything? I had a vision last week of many people like it was a view looking down on a subway and thousands of people walked by. it was in fast forward. and in that it was like God cared for every one of those people. the next clip of that was of those same people being prayed for. and all of them worshiping God. Hearts were being changed by the thousands. I want to see that happen. All of this is so heavy to me.

I guess I fear not only who I will be there, but who I will become while there. who will I be when I return? and where is God taking me? so much of me would love to travel the world, and just live in 3rd world countries as a missionary forever. and honestly working for God I think would be the more life fulfilling thing ever. but then I wonder if I would rather do that from the states. I mean the US is in so much need. And God maybe just wants me here anyway. and then I fear (and this is my deepest fear) falling in love with someone. Not necessarily in Mozambique. but anytime in the near future. I say I probably won't get married until I am like 30. but really I think that is just out of fear of the whole idea. I want to live for God fully. and to be doing exactly what he would call me to do, will all my heart in it. but if I were married, (And not that I wouldn't marry someone I felt brought me closer to God, and had similar callings etc...) I wonder if I would still want to give my all. and if so, would it be a constant fight with my husband and I to follow the Lord. because I assure you it's a constant fight with in myself to be able to stand up for what I feel led to do when everyone around me treats me differently depending. like my family is excited for me one minute and the next they are telling me that they are going to be a wreck with me gone. or the other fun one is getting asked 1000 times a week what's going to happen if all my money doesn't come it. Or when half my friends tell me that are excited I am going but that I better come back.

I truly don't know where I will be going next. I hope if it's back here, it's still on a great adventure. anyway, the whole spouse thing is scary, because one is supposed to give themselves to their spouse. but will God call a person to less so that he can call the other one to more? Maybe I fear having to give up who I am and who I desire to be for God because women are supposed to follow. etc... and when I think about that I think, maybe I should never marry, but then I feel sad about that idea.

I think these are just things God is going to have to work in my heart. I also don't want to deal with falling in love and giving myself /heart to anymore people that aren't going to be there forever. and maybe that is selfish. Mozambique is going to be an emotional time for me I already know. and my family is not going to be there. I hope I don't extend my heart in a way that will cause it to break. I should really sleep. It's 2:30am!

Blessings,
Bethany

A lovely day, plus an update on support raising.

I now need about $1400
plus the things on my needs list. plus about $300 for water while I am there.
The Lord is good. Things are coming together.

I'm getting ready to go to pretty prairie Kansas for a prayer thing. (what a tongue twister!)

Actually, I am first going to mail in my visa stuff.
I may leave at noon.

I finally got sleep last night. and I got to sleep in and that was lovely.

Hung out with some fun people last night. one being my cousin that I rarely see. we had ice cream and that was just perfect. I also found an amazing tree that I am going to climb soon.

I am going to drink some coffee today. :-)

Today is a good day.

In His love,
Bethany

Africa needs list.

Africa plans are coming together. I still need about $3000
I decided not to pay for my plane ticket yet, because I needed to pay for the school. so really I just need the money or flier miles to get to Pemba, Mozambique, Africa.

I also have a few things that I need: *Items in red have been taken care of.

1. a sleeping bag that packs light, for 60 degree weather?
2. two sets of blue bed sheets for my bunk bed while there. (They will then be donated to the orphanage after I leave.)
3. Two new T-Shirts any size and any solid color for the orphans.
4. a flashlight that can be strapped to my head. (yeah, stylish. but they said those are best for outreaches in the bush)
5. a flashlight that doesn't need batteries. (one that you shake)
6.Tough dish gloves (water proof garden gloves)
7. Box or 2 of Medical gloves.
8. First aid kit with plenty of bandages and band aids for helping with orphans.
9. 2 pairs of socks to wear with hiking boots. (ones that absorb moisture.)

Books still needed:
1.Portuguese/English Bible.
2.A pocket dictionary (Portuguese/English)
3.Richard J. Foster "Prayer: Finding the Heart's True Home"
4. "Rees Howells Intercessor" Norman Grubb

for now that is all I can think of.

Love love,
Bethany

This blog to me feels like I new pair of shoes. I like to just visit it. I don't know why. and I want to write in it more, but I haven't really known what to say. Life is such an interesting beautiful thing. How is it that we get stuck in life, and feel worthless and depressed. there is just so much beauty. and there is so much we can gain joy from. yet sometimes we just focus on what we don't have.
I was just thinking about how nice it would be to sit and drink tea on my porch. or to go to the park and read in my hammock. or to go hang out with people. or just anything. there are so many things I could do and I would just feel blessed by any of them.

I had a good weekend in Tulsa. Hung out with the Burrow boys. spent time at "the burn" which is a 72 hour prayer thing. And Isaac's church in Tulsa is way awesome. and I just had an amazing time.

Today I had two prayers answered. I was praying for a camera to use in Mozambique and a friend said I could use his cannon and if it gets stolen it would be fine. also, I got some more money in for my trip today. I still have about $3000 to raise but I just know the Lord will provide. Because he shows me daily that this is the case. I feel blessed.

have a good day guys!
-Bethany :-)

3 months in Mozambique.

If you want to learn more about my upcoming trip to Mozambique go to www.myspace.com/bethawhatevr

Here is a neat video of the kids in mozambique

Video

A new post

I think today I just like the idea of posting. I don't actually have a clue what to say. I should be reading right now. I have a lot to read before leaving for Mozambique in 3 weeks. ...3 weeks? wow! when I decided last February I wanted to visit, I didn't think it would actually happen. and when I decided last May that I wanted to go to the school there for 3 months, it felt like the time would never come. Now it's 3 weeks away, and I still don't feel like it's going to happen. How is it all going to fall into place? I feel somewhat stuck in my preparation. My last day at work was Friday. Now I have all this time to work on preparing, and I don't know what to do next.

I have no clue what to expect, nor why God is taking me there exactly. But, as I concluded a few weeks ago, nothing has ever felt more right. this is the beginning of something amazing. The Lord is taking me to a whole new level, and I hope that I will have the guts to jump in full force. I want to gain all that is possible for me to gain. and to grow in the deepest relationship a person could have with The Father. This truly is just the beginning. I have no idea what is ahead, and part of me (though scared) is so very excited!

People ask me what I will do next. I can respond with any response, and I will probably be wrong, because the Lord has not reveled that part to me yet. He's just showing me what is right in front of me.

And yes, I am scared out of my mind, but I feel more alive than I have in my entire life. Praise Him for that!

I cannot wait!

1st post.

Just started this blog. ...yeah I'm pretty excited about it. I am going to go enjoy some hot tea now.